Why are there so many “unwed” mothers and why is divorce so high in our communities? We know that the family unit is how we grow and maintain a stable nation, so why is it so hard to come together? One reason is the ignorance of what marriage really is. We must go back to the basics and cover the rules of engagement when it comes to our most intimate relationship, the relationship between man and woman. If we can understand the hidden truth about marriage, we will be able to change our perspective and make more responsible decisions about it.
We have been taught that marriage constitutes a legally binding union approved by a state or local government (marriage certificate) usually culminating in a ceremony in front of a Pastor, Priest, Imam or Rabbi and witnesses. We can’t forget those rings either, but nowhere in the bible do these acts constitute marriage. These acts would be considered “traditions of men”, which is quite different from the commandments of God. Even according to the “traditions of men”, the marriage isn’t official until the two “consummate” the marriage by laying down with each other. According to God and our ancestors, marriage occurs when we engage in the physical act of coming together with someone (sex). In the bible it is referred to as knowing a woman. Regardless of whether a man and woman are ready for marriage or not, if they lay down with each other, they are husband and wife.
Adam and Eve
IT WAS WRITTEN:
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:24, 25
Isaac and Rebekah
IT WAS WRITTEN:
And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming. And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. Genesis 24:63-67
What’s sobering is the fact that according to our ancestral laws, once the union is official, a man and woman must stay together for the rest of their lives. A man can’t leave a woman unless she fornicates (unlawful sexual act), which adultery falls under. If a man leaves his wife for reasons other then that, he is in violation of “fornication” by turning a “Daughter of God”(Israelite) into a harlot or as our book calls “Whore mongering”. Today we call these brothers “players” or “pimps” and for the most part they are looked up to. Being “Espoused”, “Betrothed”, “Engaged” to someone simply means that your “talking” or in times gone past “courting” that person. There is an arrangement between the two parties that all things being equal, they will end up spending their lives together once factors permit. This was just as binding as being married and there were civil laws for this as well.
The Civil Law regarding “engagement”, “betrothing”,etc.
IT WAS WRITTEN:
If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you. But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die. But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbour, and slayeth him, even so is this matter: For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her. Deuteronomy 22:22-27
The Civil Law on jumping the gun
IT WAS WRITTEN:
And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. Exodus 22:16,17
JESUS said that the same things that went on during his lifetime would be happening in the last days, so the fact that marriage and divorce is an issue being discussed today (amongst others) is of importance. JESUS and our brothers and sisters who followed him during that time reinforced the Law in debates with the Pharisees and amongst each other in letters/epistles after he was gone. We were born into a society that doesn’t honor our laws because they have their own, thus we were “born into sin”. Sin is transgression of the law whether knowingly or unknowingly and that’s why there is “Liberty”, so that we can work it out. This all falls under Christ’s universal wisdom of “Love thy neighbor as thyself” and can be comprehended from that perspective.
JESUS reinforcing the law
IT WAS WRITTEN:
The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it. And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail. Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. JESUS/Luke 16:16-18
JESUS clarifying the law of Moses to the Pharisees and afterwards giving understanding to his disciples that everybody may not marry, but if they do the law applies.
IT WAS WRITTEN:
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. JESUS/Matthew 19:3-12
Paul reinforcing the law and recognizing everyone’s situation is different.
IT WAS WRITTEN:
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. I Corinthians 7:8-11
Paul giving perspective on the “liberty” we have while we work it out.
IT WAS WRITTEN:
For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:13-16
Knowledge is power and the future is ours but it will take a shift in perspective from brothers and sisters in order to turn the corner on this one. That takes faith but it also takes action and seriously working out the issues that divide us. We’re a force when we’re together and it has been said that two is better then one. Every ones situation is different so the only real playbook to go off of is the universal wisdom of “Love thy neighbor as thyself” when one decides to take that journey. There are several different subjects pertaining to relationships, but these are some basics and hopefully this will help along the way.
"Love thy neighbor as thyself"